Day One – Thursday, 9 November 2017
I woke up early, I wanted to pray, but not in my little apartment, I wanted to be in nature, so I packed my yoga mat (I did yoga now) and headed to the Sea Point promenade. I hadn’t prayed in years, so I unrolled my mat, got down on my knees, and kinda just went for it. I prostrated to the sun a lot. I don’t remember who I was praying to or what I was praying about, but I was probably asking for answers and help. I got a few looks from early morning joggers, but I barely took notice. I never ate lunch and went for a walk around the V/A Waterfront.
That night, I smoked a little weed and read.
Day Two – Friday, 10 November 2017
Same same, I woke up early and headed to the Sea Point promenade, time to pray. The only thing was, in Cape Town, the weather changes in a flash, and that day the winds were blowing early. At the promenade, I could barely unfold my mat, but I managed a small prayer, the sun didn’t get that many prostrations today, then quickly jumped in my car and started off for work. Again, no lunch. Hunger was definitely creeping in, but my marijuana habit was helping me to dull that sense. I was also drinking litres of rooibos tea to fill the hole.
Like the night before, that evening I smoked some weed and read. Obviously.
Day Three – Saturday, 11 November 2017
It was Saturday, and my third day with no food. I don’t think I prayed at the promenade in the morning; I was put off by the wind from the day before. At around 10AM, I sat alone in my apartment, slightly high and still on the hunt for hidden answers. I was deeply engaged with a book called DMT: The Spirit Molecule, which, if you haven’t read it, it’s incredible. It’s about Dr. Rick Strassman and his research on DMT. Dr. Strassman conducted government-approved human trials in the 1990s, documenting participants’ deeply intense, often spiritual and/or otherworldly experiences.
Man, what a read that book was.
I was deeply impressed by the scientific nature of the study; my logical brain understood that this was a thoroughly thoughtful and rigorous study, and my creative brain loved the idea of the unexpected results. I asked ChatGPT to list some of the trends experienced by the candidates, which included:
- Entity Encounters – Many subjects reported encountering strange, intelligent beings, including alien-like creatures, elves, insectoids, machines, or even divine presences. These entities often seemed aware of the person and sometimes tried to communicate telepathically or symbolically.
- Alternate Dimensions – Users described being transported instantly into entirely different realms or realities, often with unfamiliar physics, bizarre environments, or intricate geometric patterns. These places felt more “real” than ordinary life.
- Loss of Time and Self – Many experienced the breakdown of time, ego, and personal identity. Some felt merged with the universe, others completely detached from their body and personality.
- Profound Emotional States – Intense feelings of awe, love, fear, or reverence. Some felt they had a connection with God, the Source, or universal intelligence. Others had frightening or overwhelming visions.
There was something about this book…
I can’t remember which page or which chapter, but after reading the above experiences, my mind left me for a little,
Then,
My head started to feel… a pressure,
It felt like I was trying to process new information; my conscious mind was gone, lost deep in thought. Involuntarily, my eyes shut tightly, and my body slightly sagged. My book fell onto the couch.
The pressure. It wasn’t a headache; it was like someone was pushing on my head. Additionally, it was localised to only my forehead, it grew and grew. I forced myself to sit up on the couch, put my feet on the floor, and held my head with my elbows resting on my knees.
It felt as though I had a bulbous-shaped object on my forehead, like a water lily bud, but… attached to me? It didn’t feel like it was growing either, rather, it seemed like it had always been there.
The pressure was now intense. I wanted to scream.
And then, it opened.
IT OPENED,
DUDE,
IT FRIKKEN OPENED.
Words fail me, the damn thing felt as though it actually opened
I felt it painlessly peel back into four slivers
And then
White light
…
I fell to my knees and began deeply sobbing,
Like really sobbing,
Proper ugly crying
Wailing, bawling, and blubbering, all in one.
…
I understood everything.
Revelations rushed into me,
I saw my life as a perfect blueprint, flawlessly set up for me to get here, right now.
My life flashed, everything I have ever done had been done in perfect timing with the universe,
Every single step I had ever taken was part of a larger plan.
Patterns, paths, and plans stemming throughout my life, in milliseconds, smashing into me
Everything made sense.
I have been guided my entire life.
I understood everything.
All these patterns,
All these paths,
All these plans,
Just. For. Me.
…
I felt LOVE like I have never felt before.
I felt MEANING like I have never felt before.
I felt DIVINITY like I have never felt before.
I felt PROTECTION like I have never felt before.
I felt UNDERSTANDING like I have never felt before.
I knew.
The Divine is real
THE DIVINE IS REAL!
I HAD FOUND IT!
I KNEW IT WAS THERE!
I HAD FOUND IT!
…
I felt so much pain leaving me,
I was carrying so much,
It was being lifted off me in waves, each time making me sob more,
It felt like huge boulders being lifted off my back. Was I… carrying that? How?
So much pain,
I had no idea,
But here it was, somehow exposed for everyone to see,
Rather,
Exposed for me to see
I ugly cried for what must have been at least 5 minutes straight.
…
Soon,
The revelations grew fewer,
The waves grew smaller,
My sobbing subsided.
…
I collected myself as best I could,
I reached for my phone and unlocked it,
11:11 AM on 11th November 2017,
11:11 on 11/11
I began sobbing again
Michael's musings 